It's not just a train

I just want to give some props to my favorite subway conductor, whom I had again for my ride home from work yesterday. I sometimes catch him on the odd morning riding the A downtown to Brooklyn. I can always recognize him by his distinctive announcements, which aren't only uncommonly audible, but always delivered in a calm, upbeat, cheery voice that's such a pleasant departure from the usual garbled perfunctory mumbling or angry shouting. Best of all, I love the way he refers to the train as the "Downtown A Express Experience to Far Rockaway," like he's welcoming you to a themepark ride.

You make my day, Favorite Subway Conductor.

Moving day

So the guy who offered to lend me his van didn't come through, and I'm trying to find a truck to rent the day of.



What's that?




Why is everything so hard?

For the curious...

I was approached by a stranger in a tea shop last weekend, and told that I looked exactly like the woman in Leonardo da Vinci's Lady with an Ermine:





This is a new one, because usually if I am told I look like anyone it's Dana Scully, like the guy in the gaming store said last month. That's okay with me, too.





So, in case you've been wondering what I look like, now you know.

EDIT:

I forgot to mention, my mother has also always said I have Queen Elizabeth hands:





Although maybe if I just stopped carrying an ermine around everywhere, people would stop saying these things to me.

Least ambitious advertising slogan ever

Proudly painted onto the van of a local landscaping company:

"We Return All Phone Calls"

Moral: If you set your standards low enough, success is almost inevitable.

A conversation I had today

CO-WORKER: So are you in school?

ME: I just graduated.

CO-WORKER: Where did you go?

ME: Bard.

CO-WORKER: Ah. Yeah, I noticed the big words.

ME: I didn't know they were hanging out so prominently!

Be vewwy vewwy quiet

A customer today purchased a Sally Hansen "Nearly Nude" French Nail Kit. This particular item was rendered in the register's occasionally peculiar shorthand as "SH NEARLY NUDE FRENCH," as if some French people in a state of undress nearby might be offended or startled off by any sudden loud noise.

I suddenly pictured a sort of Elmer Fudd in pursuit of exposed Gallic flesh, crouched down behind that famed chinked wall in France which is celebrated in naughty schoolyard rhyme, shushing his fellows as he surreptitiously observed his quarry...

Overheard on the train

Youngish female voice: Say it. Sixsixsixsixsix.

Another youngish female voice: But those are the Devil's numbers!